Monday, September 24, 2012

Monday Musings: Watch me revise, live!

The temperature is a cool 60-something outside - ah!  I should be out in my yard collecting more rocks for my dry creek but I've already showered and there's a student teacher conference later I gotta be at.

That sounds horrible.  "There's a student teacher conference later I gotta be at."  My former English teacher would stand agape at that sentence. Let's try that again.

"I must attend a student teacher conference this afternoon."


"My daughter requires my presence at a conference with her instructors this afternoon."

Hm.  Not exactly true. I'm sure my daughter would love it if I didn't show up. 

"My daughter's school requires my speaking with the instructors she interacts with on a daily basis."

It's not like there are conference police.  There are never as many parents there as there should be.  I get jealous that I'm not able to come up with an excuse not to go.

"I'm going to bless my daughter's teachers with my wisdom, wit, and cooperation in an effort to enhance my daughter's educational experience."

(Snerk.)  Okay, I don't really cooperate other than to get on my daughter's back about her homework.  I certainly am NOT going to do it for her.  I'm sure the teachers don't really want to hear my opinion anyway.

"I'm going to a parent/teacher conference where I'll cringe when I hear about missing assignments, low test scores and visibly sigh when I hear my kid is doing okay. I will be relieved when I can go home."

A little too honest perhaps? 

"I'm going to go to the school and I'll nod my head and keep my mouth shut when I hear that a required math class has no textbooks to issue to the students and that even though the students have to pass every test with 70% or above, there is little more the teachers can do than some after school tutoring.  If my kid doesn't "get it" and fails the tests, I'll have to pay out extra money for a packet of more worksheets for my kid to complete to get the credit."

Oh, that's just that monumental chip on my shoulder. No matter how much I try to get rid of it, it jumps back on like a flea on a dog.

You know, why can't these be done by email?  I'd even take a form-letter type one:

Dear Parent of ________________,

Your son/daughter is in my ______ class. 

His/her current grade is (circle one)  A, B, C, D, F

If your child has a C grade or lower, the reason his/her grade may not be as high as you think it should be is because (check all that apply):

1.  Your child talks too much in class. Take the cell phone/smart phone/tablet away.
2.  Your child has not turned in all assignments due.
3.  Your child has not completed all the questions on one or more assignments.
4.  Your child gets more questions wrong than right.
5.  Your child sleeps in class.
6.  Your child has behavioral/social/cognitive issues and the school district can't help with those.
7.  Your child turns in assignments late.
8.  Your child comes late/is often absent from class.
9.  I don't know what to tell you.  Good luck.

If your child has an A or B grade, the reason for this grade is because (check all that apply):

1.  Your child hands in assignments on time, completely done, with a majority of the answers correct.
2.  Your child pays attention in class.
3.  Your child doesn't cause problems in class, allowing me time to deal with those that do.
4.  Your child comes to class on time/consistently.
5.  Your child is well-mannered, thoughtful, and in many ways is just perfect.
6.  Your child is awake and alert and ready for class each day.
7.  Have a good day.


Mr./Mrs./Ms. Teacher

That all pretty much sums it up right?  Seems efficient to me.

Ah well.  Off we go.

How are student/parent/teacher conferences to you?  Love them or loathe them?  Helpful communication or torture?  Feel free to chime in.


Lourie said...

Oh I am so on board with this! Parent/Teacher conferences. BLEAH! Who has that kind of time???

Pam said...

I would LOVE the parents that would come to these BACK TO SCHOOL NIGHTS, being TOLD NOT to ask the teacher about the child YET but invariably someone would ask, HOWS MY KID DOING?
SO MANY times I would WANT to ask, OH, you have one here? But I didn't.
I'd just say, give me a couple of more months and I'll know more about him/her. so it goes both ways I guess. I'm with you, send home your idea! Easier to deal with.