Memo to the Associated Press, Reuters, and all major news networks, affiliates and news aggregators.
"NEWS" is NOT
1. Which celebrity marriage is on the rocks.
2. Which celebrities are going to get married after multiple prior marriages. (I appreciate that they haven't lost hope for the institution of marriage but if it is obvious that someone doesn't have the knack for it, an intervention is called for. Just don't bother reporting the intervention please.)
3. The latest episode of whatever reality show is in vogue at the moment.
4. Who got what plastic surgery, necessary or not.
5. Which videos on Youtube have gone viral.
"And that's the way it is. Good night."